Dangerous Liasons in Social Networking

"Hush, hush. Keep it down now, voices carry!"
Voices Carry sung by Aimee Mann

This is an interesting time for those of us trying to market our work. We have the internet, and all the "free" networking that comes with it. But I would like to extend a word of caution to my fellow authors. As fun as social networks can be, they are a dangerous outlet of frustration and hurt feelings if not taken seriously.

Writer Beware wrote a similar article yesterday about authors who fail to think before hitting the submit button, which is setting a precedence. A precedence that makes us authors look like we're a bit insane, overly sensitive, and a bit whiny, if you ask me.

So what is there to do about this phenomenon? There are a couple of things we can do to make sure we don't fall into the same trap of having our friends spam a blog that gave us a negative review, or using Twitter as our campaign to cold-call a journalist.

If you're upset, write out your feelings, sure. You're an author. It's what you do.

But don't post your upset email, blog comment, tweet, etc, until the next day. This will give you time to calm down to make sure you actually want to put yourself out there as potentially crazy.

Have someone else read the review.

Make sure you're not flying off the handle by having an objective friend read the review and tell you what they think of it. Maybe it isn't as bad as you thought. Maybe it's worse than you thought. But you have to understand that this is the price you pay for having your work published. Do you know how many people would kill just to have their name on the spine of a book? You're lucky someone read you and cared enough to review it!

Do not, under any circumstances, post the phone number and/or address of the reviewer so your loyal friends/family/fans can harass them.

Bad author. Bad.

Realize that reviews are subjective.

It's all about personal taste, and as an author you knew, hopefully, when writing your book that not everyone would like it. You're allowed to be upset about it, but try to be graceful, too.

Treat it as a learning experience.

If you're that concerned about the review, send the reviewer a letter asking what would have improved the work for them. If they give valid suggestions, then great. If not, then leave them behind.

As someone who has been hurt by an errant tweet, I can tell you that it is very difficult to do these things when you're upset. It's difficult to resist the urge to rush to the defense. It hurts when people submit hurtful comments online without thinking. It hurts more when they're obviously submitting hurtful things on purpose. My advice? The best thing to do is to walk away. Do not stoop to "their level," whatever that level may be, as it makes you look petty.

How many of you have had a bad review, and what did you do? Have you ever seen an online author melt-down?