Worderella Writes

WIP: First Paragraphs

Caricature drawn by Worderella

Everyone talks about how important a first line is, how important the first page is, of any good piece of writing. We go on about how the idea needs to grab the reader, to hook them as one might hook a fish. But we never really give our own examples, unless we’re sure we’ve got it down. And the thing is, I don’t know if I have it down. I’m fairly certain I don’t, if only because I’m a type A perfectionist who second-guesses herself a lot.

So this is what I’m going to do: here are the first lines of my working!title Trentwood’s Orphan.

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Book: Silent in the Grave

Always weak, Sir Edward falls to the floor while he and his wife, Lady Julia, entertain some friends. Julia is sent from the room by her father, but not before a mysterious and dark man, Nicholas Brisbane, warns her that this was very likely murder. Certain Brisbane is mad, Julia disregards his warning until a year later, when she throws off her full-mourning and starts to pack away Edward’s things…only to find a death threat shoved in his desk.

For you historical fiction writers looking for a first-person narrative, this book is a great example from which to learn. Julia is impetuous, frank, and conflicted, all great character traits for a narrator. First book in the Lady Julia mysteries. See Silent in the Sanctuary for the sequel.

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Book: The Wayward Muse

It is the beginning of the Victorian era, and Jane is a very ugly girl. On an outing with her sister, Jane is spotted by two artists that consider her the most beautiful woman in the world, thus changing her life forever.

Excellent writing, as you’ll find in the excerpts I’ve posted. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, despite Jane’s character, which makes me respect Hickey even more. Once I realized the plot, I almost put the book away, except Hickey’s writing and depiction of the characters stayed my hand. This book is one of the best fiction depictions of a real Victorian marriage that I have read yet; the main characters are real people, and while the story may not be entirely factual, the plot seems to follow the real time-line faithfully. The writing style is simple yet lush, the scenery vivid, the characters organic and sympathetic. Anyone working on making their characters flawed, especially the main character, should read this book as an example of how to maintain your reader’s interest.

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Book: The Glass Harmonica

Title: The Glass Harmonica
Author: Louise Marley
Genre: Paranormal Historical Fiction
Length: 369 pgs

Summary: The year is 2018 and Erin is the premiere virtuosa on the glass harmonica, an instrument that, over the centuries, has been known to make its player and select members of the audience go mad. Though she publicly denies these rumors, secretly she is terrified they are true once she starts to see visions of a girl who does not exist.

The year is 1761 and Eilish Eam, an Irish orphan, has been plucked from her unlucky existence to play Benjamin Franklin’s new invention: the glass armonica.

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Book: Liszt’s Kiss

Anne, a young pianist about to enter Parisian society during the height of the Musical Romantic Era (1830s, 1840s), has just lost her mother to the cholera epidemic. Her father forbids her from playing the piano. As an outlet, her mother’s friend, Marie d’Agoult, invites her to a piano concert where she sees Liszt for the first time. Anne’s life is forever changed from the moment she matches eyes with Liszt…

This book is a good example of a story that chose third person omniscient, but might have been better with first-person multiple point-of-view. Dunlap wrote her third-person narrative from the views of her characters anyway, so I’m confused why she didn’t write it in first-person. I felt completely detached from the entire story. I read it because I liked the young doctor Pierre…he was the only character I liked. (Which means Vonnegut was right: always write at least one character for the reader to like.)

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Book: A Poisoned Season

It is the start of the summer Season in London, and everyone worth speaking to is whispering about Mr Charles Berry, an alcohol-and-woman-happy man claiming to be the lost descendant of the dauphin (that is, heir to Louis XIV and Marie Antoinette). Lady Emily Ashton, our heroine, becomes suspicious of Mr Berry as items once belonging to his “beloved grande-mere” are stolen from unsuspecting peerage about town. As deaths occur and the thief begins to stalk Emily, rather than running away or hiding behind her dear friend Colin Hargreaves, Emily uses her cleverness and curiosity to solve the mysteries plaguing London.

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Book: Miss Wonderful

Mirabel Oldridge thought she had everything under control on her Regency property. Her eccentric, distracted father was happily studying his plants. She managed to keep her family home safe from opportunistic managers (at the expense of her one chance at love and marriage). But now, now there is a new problem; one she never thought she would have to face: Alistair Carsington. Carsington is a hero from Waterloo sent to convince Mirabel’s town, to convince Mirabel, that they need a canal that would ruin their picturesque countryside. It certainly doesn’t help that, despite her innate hatred of Carsington and all he threatens to change, Mirabel begins to find herself attracted to the oversensitive, immaculately-dressed, and maddening idiosyncrasies that define him.

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Book: Hood

Rhi Bran ap Brychan, heir to the Elfael throne, has never been much for responsibility. Not since his mother died when he was a young boy. Bran is headstrong, selfish, and egotistical; rebellious against his callous and and tyrannous father. But now his father is dead–killed by Norman invaders determined to take over the Welsh and their lands. The people of Elfael have been enslaved, made to pay taxes they have not the money for, forced to work lands that are not their own and thus making it impossible to tend to the year’s harvest: the people of Elfael are starving, and they need a leader. Unfortunatly for Bran, he is their last hope.

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Book: Animating Maria

This is the fifth book of the School for Manners series in which twin sisters Amy and Effy Tribble advertise that they can make eligible matches for any troublesome yong woman. This time, however, they have a perfect client: Maria Kendall. She is pretty, well-mannered, graceful, and has a rich dowry. Unfortunately, there are two problems in Maria’s way: 1) she tends to daydream a lot because 2) her parents are gaudy, self-important, and like Mr Collins about Lady Catherine de Bourgh from Pride and Prejudice, know the monetary value of everything they own (and like to reflect upon that). Her parents have chased away every eligible suitor in Bath, and now Maria journeys to London, where she meets the Duke of Berham. Can Maria climb down from her dreams to see the quality in the Duke? Can the Duke get past the common Kendalls?

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Book: The Secret History of the Pink Carnation

Eloise Kelly is a PhD student chasing after the elusive Pink Carnation, a British spy during the Napoleonic Wars. Trekking across the Atlantic in search of primary sources to discover the identity of the Pink Carnation, Eloise discovers the biggest scoop of all time, one that the “finest historians” have missed–the secret history of the Pink Carnation. While reading journals of those involved, she stumbles upon a heady romance that leaves her aching for a little of her own. As from the front flap, “How did the Pink Carnation save England? And will Eloise Kelly find a hero of her own?”

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