Worderella Reveals a Snippet
Dear Reader,
I am ashamed to admit it has been, according to 750words.com, five days since I last wrote a word for Haunting Miss Trentwood. Thank goodness for blogfests! I almost forgot I agreed to be a part of the Rainy Day blogfest, held by The Writer's Hole.
Below is my submission, a first-draft snippet of Chapter 24 from my work-in-progress, Haunting Miss Trentwood. To give you an idea of the story, it is set in 1887 England, and the tagline is "Father knows best... even after death." Enjoy!
By the time they reached Wayland's Smithy, it had begun to rain. It was the kind of loud rain which spoke of the end of winter and the coming of spring. Mary had been forced to jog that last one hundred yards to the black opening of the Saxon tomb. She had slid on the slick rock floor covered with decaying leaves. Trentwood's tight grasp on her arm righted her. She jerked away from his unnatural touch.
Mary huddled beneath the sheltering rocks of the sarsen stones that made the ceiling, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. I haven't anything left to vomit. "Tell me what happened back there."
Trentwood stood in the shadows beside her. She could feel his white eyes watching her, and fought the wave of nausea that shuddered through her body. Those white eyes had, for a brief moment, looked at her through Hartwell's eyes. Certainly she hadn't imagined that? Trentwood had, for a time, stepped into Hartwell's body so he could land a devastating punch to Sedgwick's jaw. One couldn't imagine that. Just as one couldn't imagine one's father haunting one.
I'm not mad. Please, tell me I'm not mad.
Outside, the rain plummeted to the ground more furiously than Mary had ever seen. It was as if the sky vomited on her behalf. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead into the moss that clung to the vertical stone walls. She sighed as the cool rock soothed the pounding at her temples.
"What would you like to know?"
She wasn't sure where to begin. "How did you do it?"
Trentwood shrugged. "One minute I was watching you thrash about in bed, and I heard you scream that terrifying scream of yours, and the next minute, I was in your dream. I haven't the slightest clue how it happened."
Mary blinked. Wait, what? Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth. "I was talking about when you possessed Mr. Hartwell, Father."
Again, Trentwood shrugged. "I'm as new to this being dead folderol as you are in watching it."
Wiping beads of sweat from her brow, Mary whispered, "You will limit such... jaunts... in the future, I hope?"
"Indeed," he said with a short laugh. "It pains me to do it as much as it seems to pain you to watch it. Do you know how difficult it is to be dead, hopping around from one mind or body to the next, not knowing how you got there, or how you'll get out?" He stepped closer, and she could smell his death-stench.
"No, I don't. I never thought it was a skill I would need to learn."
He grunted. "Inherited your mother's morbid sense of humor, I see."
"Given the circumstances, I think I'm glad of it."
Suddenly seeming sheepish, Trentwood took yet another step closer. "Mary, we must talk about your dream. We must talk about your mother's death."
Definitely make sure you check out the other submissions. Thanks for reading!
All the best,
Belinda
Find a Friend Dialogue Exercise
Today in class we talked about the mechanics of dialogue, and how it's a weakness for some writers and a strength for others. We read Robert Bausch's short story, "Aren't You Happy For Me?", which I suggest you all read as an excellent example of external conflict (the dialogue) and internal conflict (the exposition).
You should also read David Foster Wallace's "Brief Interviews with Hideous Men" for another type of story where the dialogue is the entire story. Not only that, but he only provides half of the conversation, leaving the reader to fill in the gaps. Disturbing and brilliant.
Besides talking about the pitfalls of dialogue, which can include talking heads and over-philosophizing, we talked about exercises that we each use as a way to strengthen our dialogue-writing skills.
I admitted to being a closet eavesdropper. One of the guys in the class pulled out a tiny composition book and admitted to taking it with him to the bar, which inspired another guy to pull out his own tiny notebook meant for the same purpose.
For our class exercise, we had to pair up and write a conversation together. This was a lot of fun. My partner and I began giggling because we were writing an argument that started over the lack of peanut butter... it was, as Dane Cook describes, a "nothing" fight. Yet, under the surface, there was real conflict. Amazing what can come out of five minutes of passing a journal back and forth.
Try this exercise with a friend of yours, whether they're a "writer" or not. It's a lot of fun, and inspires new story ideas, guaranteed.
- The first writer pulls out a piece of paper and begins their dialogue with the words "I'm sorry, but...". They complete the sentence and pass the journal to their partner.
- The partner, after reading the sentence,writes a line (or paragraph) of dialogue which heightens the tension.
- Keep passing the journal back and forth, trying to throw curve balls at one another without delving into the absurd.
- Try not to rely on dialogue tags to reveal how the character is speaking.
- In fact, don't use dialogue tags at all. Rely on your word choice and punctuation.
Do you have a favorite dialogue exercise? Let us know in the comments.
Stop Beating
"Could it think, the heart would stop beating." - Fernando Pessoa
Today in my English class we talked about the implicit promises writers make to their readers... these promises act as hooks, or mini-crises that build up the tension to the climax or sub-climax of the plot.
In romance, we begin our stories with a promise. At the beginning, we have two people who may or may not know one another. One thing we do know is that whether they know it or not, they will grow to care for one another, and we get to watch that process. It's the fun part of love.
If this promise isn't fulfilled, whether with a twist, or unexpectedly, we are left with a sense of disappointment and often anger. We discount the entire work as a waste of time.
As writers, sometimes we forget the promises we've made to our readers. We ignore the initial hook of the story, or never complete that subhook which made them turn the page to the next chapter.
Draw your readers in. Speak to their hearts rather than making them think through your plot. Once you drop a promise and confuse the reader, you're destroyed the suspension of disblief and made them think again. As Pessoa claims, if the heart is made to think, it might stop beating.
Break the Seas
A book must be an ice-axe to break the seas frozen inside our soul.
- Franz Kafka
We all know that a story in which nothing bad happens to the character isn't much of a story. The character needs something to fight against, so the reader has a reason to root for the character. This can be for heroes and villains, believe it or not.
That being said, when you write, who do you keep in mind as you write? The characters? Your overarching plot? Your theme? Your reader? Or all of the above?
When I began Trentwood's Orphan, I had no idea who or what I was writing for. I simply had a character (Mary Winslow) who, like many of you mentioned in the comments two weeks ago, wouldn't leave me alone. And that was good enough for me, then.
Now, I find that I'm writing not only to learn more about Mary, but also about how the world affects her and how she affects the world...that world including the reader. Can I make my reader cry? Can I make them frustrated? Will they be drawn into the story and wonder how Mary will get past her grief? Will they be desperate to know whether she will allow love, in any form, to break the seas frozen in her soul?
Some might discount this as a romance thing, only. As in, only in romance would an author try to tease such an emotional response from their reader. I beg to differ. Many a literary fiction has done much worse to me than the majority of the romances I've read. And perhaps that's why I want to bring emotional turmoil, real emotional turmoil, to my romance.
Romance is a part of life, as is tragedy. Oftentimes, they come hand-in-hand. Is this so in fiction? Not always. Does this mean romance and tragedy should never happen together in fiction? Not necessarily.
In fact, if an author can touch me in such a way that I feel as though my very soul was burned, I'm much more likely to recommend the book to a friend. That is what I strive for, something so...fierce, I suppose, that my reader is scorched, forever changed by my writing.
Tell me, is this something you've considered? Do you feel breaking the ice of your reader's soul is applicable to your genre? Explain why or why not, I'm very curious to know how you feel about this.
Book: Silent in the Sanctuary
Title: Silent in the Sanctuary
Author: Deanna Raybourn
Genre: Historical Fiction, Mystery
Length: 552 pgs
Summary: Lady Julia Grey is back from her Italian getaway, where she recovered from the loss of her husband, the shock of discovering who killed her husband, the confusing emotions toward the detective hunting her husband's murderer, and the smoke inhalation from the night all these factors came together in a literal blaze of fury. Home for Christmas in Sussex, Lady Julia is shocked to see among the guests Brisbane, the aforementioned detective, who is newly engaged to one of the silliest women she has ever laid eyes on. When murder happens in the abbey, it is up to Lady Julia and Brisbane to solve the crime despite their tumultuous history.
Excerpts:
pg 158 - She proceeded to comment on everything we passed--the symmetry of the maze, the magnificence of the bell tower, the cleverness of the carp ponds.
And then she saw the gates. She went into raptures about the iron hares that topped them, the darling little gatehouse, the pretty shrubbery by the road. Another twenty minutes was spent on the straightness of the linden allee, and by the time we reached the village of Blessingstoke, my ears had gone numb with the effort of listening to her.
"So many words," he murmured. "I did not think one person could know so many words."
pg 482 - "That's the trouble with women," she said wonderingly. "We know what we oughtn't do, but when a man comes along, we only hear his voice, and not our own."
pg 497 - I finally ran him to ground in the library, gamely working his way through Pride and Prejudice. He sprang to his feet when I entered, smiling broadly.
I nodded to the book. "How are you enjoying Jane Austen?"
He waggled his hand from side to side. "She is a little silly, I think."
Now I was more certain than ever in my decision. I could not love a man who did not love Jane Austen.
Why should you read this book?
Contrary to many of the reviews that I read on Amazon.com, I really liked this book precisely because the continued love-hate relationship from the previous book, Silent in the Grave, was in no way resolved, and in a way that was true to the characters. That's genius, if you ask me, because it keeps the true fans of the series panting for more. This book is funny, charming, and portrays High Victorian Society oh so well. The setting is well-written without overtaking the plot, the characters are snappy, and my favorite device is used: giving tertiary characters their own subplots that affect the whole.
Read this book for a sophomore attempt that was as good (if not better) than the first, for a lesson in creating characters that don't fit in their own society and yet seem genuine to the reader, a true puzzle of a crime, a charming and funny narrator, a passionate romance with no real sense of a happy ending (must continue to read the series!), and the only series in a long time that has an alpha romance lead that doesn't make me want to shoot him.
Five Tips on Character Building through Adversity
We don't remember Scarlett O'Hara for her beauty, we remember her because she survived countless marriages, a war, childbirth, poverty, sickness, the end of the world as she knew it, and heartbreak on a monumental scale. And she's flawed, boy, is she flawed. And a brilliant character. You either love her, or hate her. So how do you make your own Scarlett?

Why, Alone? by Arash Behshadpoor at Flickr
It should be cliche at this point: Know your character. Sometimes you will only know your character after you've thrown a couple of bad situations at them. I really do suggest sitting somewhere with a journal, and ask yourself, "What if...?" What would she do? Who does she turn to? Inward for self-reflection, or outward for comfort?Don't know what to throw at her? That's okay, I've also provided you with a list of bad things that you can use as a starting point...
- Physical adversity. Death, dismemberment, sickness. Everyone will go through at least two of these in their life, so your character better have some experience with at least one of them.
Sometimes this is the worst thing that can happen to your character. But what if it isn't? Don't be afraid to pile on the adversity. The worse the situation is, and the more empathetic your character is, the more you hook your reader.
- Unfulfilled desire. No one ever gets things the way they want all the time, every time. What if your character is used to getting her way, and one day doesn't? What if this moment completely alters her understanding of herself and the world around her? What does she do? Does her desire destroy her, does she rise above it? Does she ruin the lives of those around her in her quest to satisfy her desire?
Note this desire doesn't have to be romantic in nature. In fact, if it isn't, and you're writing a romance, what a great twist to your story! Suddenly you've added a new dimension to your romance, making it all the more believable. No one in the real world has time to only worry about their romantic life, so why should your characters?
- Haunting past. Regrets about things you didn't do. Regrets about things you did. Each of us is interesting because we have personal histories. For instance, many think I savor my food, or that I just eat slowly. I do this now, but it started because my baby brother choked many times as a child, and one time I panicked instead of remaining calm. My father had to perform the Heimlich even though I'd been trained by the Red Cross. From that moment, I realized how easily it is to be careless and put your life in danger.
See how much you learned about me just by hearing how I eat? The moral of the story is: Don't discount the little things. They are the collection of moments that create our personalities and fill the prologues of our lives.
- Use the time period to your advantage, and against your character's. The women of today are strong-willed and ready to shout it from the rooftops. The women of yesterday were just as strong-willed, but required the mastery of subtlety or they might suffer the rule of thumb. If your character wants to do something that she just wouldn't have done in your chosen time period, don't give it up for the sake of the time period.
Use the frustration to build your character, showing the reader just what sort of a person she is.
- Go with it. Sometimes you'll surprise yourself with the scenarios you create. Actually, I hope you surprise yourself. In fact, you better surprise yourself. If your scenarios don't surprise you, you won't surprise your reader, and that's bad.
What's really great is when a character surprises herself. But again, you need to know your character well enough to know when she can surprise herself. As a hint, use your research to spark your imagination. Read old newspapers and be amused and shocked by what happened back then. Truth really is stranger than fiction.
I'm using all of these techniques against my character, and while it pains me to write scenes where my character suffers, I'm also ridiculously proud of her stamina against adversity.
So tell me, what is the worst situation you've thrown at your characters? And how did you feel while writing those scenes: timid, worried, daring, jubilant?
Tension Tips
Fear Factor
Get inspiration from your own fears and phobias - if it scares you, the chances are it will scare a good proportion of your readership. Primal fears go to the very route of who we are and can be particularly effective if they're magnified or exaggerated for the purposes of your story.Short and Sweet
Use short sentences to keep your prose tight and efficient. This will help create tension, whereas longer, description-heavy passages will slow down the pace. And if you're writing a novel, keep your chapters short. Not only will this crank up the stress, readers will be encouraged to read more of your book!Shock Treatment
Keep readers guessing by leaving each chapter or scene on a cliffhanger of some sort. It doesn't have to be one of your characters in a life-threatening situation each time, but you should aim to have your readers wanting to know what happens next.
Found at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/getwriting/module21p

